


All The Things I Should Have Said

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Tumblr Mini Fics [8]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving Mason Hewitt, Guilt, M/M, Sad Ending, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 22:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17796110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: It rains on the day of the funeral. Something that Mason finds all too fitting.





	All The Things I Should Have Said

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LovelyLittleGrim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLittleGrim/gifts).



> For Amanda, who wanted "things you didn't say at all" from [this list](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/post/182722823713/send-me-a-pairing-and-one-of-these-and-ill-write) of prompts. And things got angsty.

The rain falls heavily around them, pattering against the tarp they’re standing under. It seems fitting that it would storm on a day like today. Mason can’t imagine doing this in the sun. It wouldn’t feel right. It would be too bright. Too hopeful.

Right now he doesn’t feel any hope at all. He feels like the light has left him. And really, it has. His light is gone. About to be lowered into the ground and surrounded by dirt.

He hears a sob from beside him and turns his head to see Liam’s mom, Jenna crying into her husband David’s shoulder. She’s not the only one that’s crying. Most of the people here are. But Mason isn’t. He doesn’t think he could if he tried. He just feels numb.

He knows the preacher is speaking. He can hear his voice, but the words don’t reach him. All he can focus on is the coffin in front of him. It’s smaller than he was expecting. But he supposes that’s what happens when someone dies just before their eighteenth birthday.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, and looks over at Theo. He gives him a sad smile, “The service is over man. Everyone’s heading out, and going back to the Geyer’s.”

Mason nods, “You go ahead. I’ll meet you there.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah of course. Go on. I’ll be fine.”

Theo doesn’t look convinced, but he thankfully doesn’t argue. “If you need anything, call me.” He squeezes Mason’s shoulder before turning away.

Mason watches him go. He notices Jenna and David standing next to their car, watching him. Theo says something to them, and they nod, before getting into their car and driving away. Soon it’s only Mason left standing here.

The rain has slowed a bit but it’s still coming down hard, and it’s cold and dreary. A bit like he is. He walks up to the coffin and puts his hand on the lid.

“Liam.”

He has to close his eyes at the sudden swell of emotion that hits him. It’s the first time he’s said his name out loud in days, and knowing that there’s no one here to hear it. That Liam will never answer him again, hits him harder than the pouring rain.

His shoulders shake as the tears finally start to fall, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this.”

_One step at a time_.

He knows no one says it. That it’s just an echo of a memory. But he can still hear Liam’s voice so clearly, and it hurts.

“I hate you for this,” Mason says, feeling his anger rise. “If you hadn’t…” He takes a deep breath, steadying himself. “If you hadn’t jumped in front of me, you would still be here. But you just had to be the hero. But did you ever think about what that would do to me? Knowing that you fucking died saving my life? Of course you didn’t. You just jumped in there without thinking. And now, for the first time in my life I don’t have you here. And it’s not fair.”

He has to stop as sobs start wracking his body again, making it hard to breathe let alone speak. It’s the first time he’s let out how he’s been feeling about everything. Corey and Theo and Scott and everyone else have all tried to get him to talk, but he hasn’t been able to do it. The one person he wants to talk to is gone.

His phone pings, and he sighs. He knows it has to be Theo or Corey wanting to know where he is. He just doesn’t know how he can face Jenna. Being here had been hard enough. But standing in her home, knowing that her son is gone because of him…

He knows she’d never blame him, and that’s the worst part. He’d be able to handle her being angry at him, but having her offer her comfort and support is just not something he’s ready for. But he knows he has to be. He can’t just not show up. He owes it to Liam to be there for his family. For the pack.

He runs his hand along the wood of the coffin, knowing that as soon as he leaves they’re going to want to lower it down, and Liam’s body, just like every other part of him, will be gone.

He sighs and takes a step back. “I love you. I was too chicken shit to tell you. I didn’t want to ruin things. Which seems so stupid now. I should have told you every fucking day, knowing the life we lead.” He runs a hand through his hair, and gives a bitter laugh. “I’ll never love anyone the way I love you.”

He turns and walks away, setting off in the steadily falling rain. Each step he takes away from Liam hurts, but he doesn’t look back. He’s afraid if he does he’ll do something stupid like crawl inside the coffin next to Liam. He owes it to Liam to keep going. So he does.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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